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by Tim J Brennan
Mon Jun 22, 2020 12:54 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Gone
Replies: 9
Views: 1491

Re: Gone

I like this, Mark. Not seeing the original doesn't matter. Sometimes, looking back at a keeper, makes it more of a keeper. S8: Not sure I like the past "met" when all other stanzas are quasi-present tense. Not sure I need the preamble either. Most of the recollections would throw it back far enough ...
by Tim J Brennan
Thu Jun 18, 2020 1:32 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Off the Beaten Path
Replies: 4
Views: 758

Re: Off the Beaten Path

Dave, Thanks for the nod toward "dropped off"....appreciated you taking the time to explore this. I think in order to proceed in the poem, a reader needs to make a decision as to meaning. Would disagree about the distancing in the use of "Thank them"....thanking someone is one of the finest bits of ...
by Tim J Brennan
Thu Jun 18, 2020 1:22 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Keep it to Yourself
Replies: 16
Views: 3269

Re: Keep it to Yourself

Again...why?

Tracy had an interpretation. Wren had an interpretation. Murmac has an interpretation. And I as the writer have one as well. There all a bit different as I read the replies.

I guess you'll have to live w/yours w/o my blessing.
by Tim J Brennan
Thu Jun 18, 2020 2:30 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Off the Beaten Path
Replies: 4
Views: 758

Re: Off the Beaten Path

Hi, Mark: I guess the key word in your intense "interpretation" is "perhaps".... Thanks for the extended critique (is that what this was?)....I mean, you say you are hesitant to do so and then write a lengthy recap. I appreciate that very much. It appears I should focus any revision on the S6. And, ...
by Tim J Brennan
Thu Jun 18, 2020 2:24 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Keep it to Yourself
Replies: 16
Views: 3269

Re: Keep it to Yourself

My why was for your last probe about your interpretation vs my interpretation. Everything you've said or asked is how it affects you (e.g. I'm hoping, I write stuff, it will inspire me, etc.). Hell, if I get someone who "thinks" they have a poem interpretation based on the lines of my poem, I'm happ...
by Tim J Brennan
Tue Jun 16, 2020 10:14 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Keep it to Yourself
Replies: 16
Views: 3269

Re: Keep it to Yourself

Why?
by Tim J Brennan
Tue Jun 16, 2020 7:13 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Off the Beaten Path
Replies: 4
Views: 758

Off the Beaten Path

There are friends who have dropped off into the forest. I miss them thank them for their livelihood— Frank, and Richard, and now Marv. Each man’s favorite later became only mine; hell, they didn’t even know each other but through me. They all listened with their eyes, Richard, especially. His silenc...
by Tim J Brennan
Tue Jun 16, 2020 7:12 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Keep it to Yourself
Replies: 16
Views: 3269

Re: Keep it to Yourself

Sounds like you’ve heard it all. Waiting for the heavens to open up and cure things. Quite a brave poem. I don't know anyone who has heard it all. But thanks for your interpretation. All are welcome. I mean, you’ve heard enough.. “blah, blah, blah, bitty-ass, blah” seems to indicate a sarcastic ret...
by Tim J Brennan
Fri May 15, 2020 1:25 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Keep it to Yourself
Replies: 16
Views: 3269

Re: Keep it to Yourself

This so reminds me of a Lucifer narrative -- irreverent, bored with the tedium of eternity, laced with wit and irony and something somewhere on the sarcasm scale. I am confused by the grammar of the last line of stanza six. Just a thought -- last line of the poem -- how about "poem" for 'poet'? -- ...
by Tim J Brennan
Thu May 14, 2020 2:08 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Keep it to Yourself
Replies: 16
Views: 3269

Re: Keep it to Yourself

blah, blah, blah, bitty-ass, blah sometimes, you think, God must be exhausted to swim another foot with the stupidity aces are wild, you draw deuces & sevens— hundreds of dumb-ass people, your blood freezes tighter these days blah, blah, blah, bitty-ass, blah Lord knows Jesus raised Lazarus on this...