The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

I have just discovered this poem and it is beyond painful. I got no connection abortion and still don't though it may serve that discussion. It is tragic enough in the clear eyed question at the end given the kneeling and serving before. The male god is a sad one so needy and so uncaring. The truth ...

I enjoyed the poem a lot more than you the lack of storm. It caught that feeling wonderfully 

I enjoyed this bery much. Nothing like the sound of trains in he distance as even Paul Simon knew. Nice juxtaposition of ideas in God and revolution

Hey Gyppo.
I very much enjoyed the poem. The title has echoes of a poem by Reed also called the Naming of the Parts, though that one is about military parts and less gentle and humane than this poem. It brought a condsiderable smile to my day.

A very  moving, very sad and very human poem of bravery fear and some kind hope and redemtive spirit. Thanks Indar

A small  nit is the lack of question mark at the end of the first stanza, though I would suggest a question mark after moments followed by a new sentence as the punctuation does not quite work for me there. While the premise of the poem is interesting, for my taste and it is my taste, there are too ...

I can understand your argument but the new metaphor robs the original idea of its value. What actually is the nature of that shine as pertaining to leaves. Butterflies have another quality of their own. So, yes give it a go.  Glad the feedback helps. I am enjoying your poetry and we need willing and...

I would drop the last line if the poem were mine as the leaves are more beautiful if not butterflies but leaves

Hey  Mark has some very useful comments, which I would take to heart. I enjoy the way you experiemtn and try to stretch yourself with words and images. This as your other poems work best for me when the language is simpler and more direct and less inclined towards poetry and trying to show the magic...

Thanks Mark. Excellent edit