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by Dave
Mon Jun 14, 2021 2:13 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Id
Replies: 4
Views: 42

Re: Id

Hey Phil Well these two last two poems have been ploughing a new furrow. They certainly make the reader work and give much to ponder and untangle within the images. It is always fascinating when a poet stretches into new pastures and opens up other angles. There is something almost 'Mark-Like' about...
by Dave
Sun Jun 13, 2021 11:31 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: walking away
Replies: 2
Views: 36

walking away

Years ago I walked out on being Northern Irish, stepped away from Protestant history, turned a corner and followed an ever stretching road of identities, plucking what I needed as I went. I’ve been Irish, English, German, tall and short, lazy and industrious, white and tanned, never black, a teacher...
by Dave
Sat Jun 05, 2021 7:23 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: May Haiku
Replies: 6
Views: 98

Re: May Haiku

I really loved these. Striking and arresting images.
Dave
 
by Dave
Sat Jun 05, 2021 7:22 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: African Rose
Replies: 8
Views: 183

Re: African Rose

Thanks Alienflower. Yes decant is not only better but actually correct.
Dave
 
by Dave
Mon May 31, 2021 2:09 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Nick the Troubadour: From several years back.
Replies: 3
Views: 122

Re: Nick the Troubadour: From several years back.

Detailed and engaging narrative as always. I don't know how you manage to meet so many interesting people.
Dave
 
by Dave
Mon May 31, 2021 2:08 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Leda's Swan Song
Replies: 6
Views: 134

Re: Leda's Swan Song

Linda
You are being a bit harsh on yourself. These are the kinds of poems that are good to write because actually they stretch the commonplace of one's writing and other's reading into something interesting. It is your lack of confidence in it that perhaps holds it back.

Dave
 
by Dave
Mon May 31, 2021 2:04 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: African Rose
Replies: 8
Views: 183

Re: African Rose

Thanks Linda for the considered response. Phil your revision is far superior to mine so for that many many thanks.
Dave
 
by Dave
Sun May 30, 2021 11:49 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: African Rose
Replies: 8
Views: 183

Re: African Rose

Thank you both for your detailed thoughts and the considerable time and effort you have put into your excellent comments. Phil, whether or not I agree with everything you have flagged as prosaic I will of course seek to incorporate in a revision because they all make sound sense. Colm you are spot o...
by Dave
Fri May 28, 2021 5:08 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: African Rose
Replies: 8
Views: 183

African Rose

Alternative version On the polished sill an African rose decants a red film of butterfly wings; upended, they flutter into an ancient death pose. In the attic, shuffles and scratches smuggle thief or refugee spirits in among my boxes of memories. The pool of sight from the lamp only reaches the bord...
by Dave
Fri May 28, 2021 9:12 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Hug
Replies: 6
Views: 168

Re: Hug

Phil While I like the way the poem avoids some of the pitfalls of writing about WW!, namely it has been done to death already (excuse the pun), by channelling the story through what I guess is the mother, I still feel this needs some calrity. Where and when is the mother in realtion to the boy's exp...