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- Mon Mar 25, 2024 3:47 pm
- Forum: National Poetry Month Celebration 2024
- Topic: "NaPo" she says, and pokes again.
- Replies: 6
- Views: 22
Re: Blasts from the Past--Throwback Moments
My all-time favorite poem about NaPo, and written by a NaPo writer is as follows: An Untitled Poem by Sharon Leigh (which first wrote itself in her journal "Root Cellar" here on TTB) April is over my shoulder poking my clavicle like my four-year-old used to, saying "look", pointing to the journal...
- Sat Mar 09, 2024 1:40 pm
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Aunt Lucille
- Replies: 6
- Views: 1923
Re: Aunt Lucille
On the contrary, Linda, you are MY mentor, and have been for a dozen years (I joined MWC on leap-year day, 2012).
- Sun Mar 03, 2024 10:33 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: To be Blind, or, All-Knowing
- Replies: 4
- Views: 4252
Re: To be Blind, or, All-Knowing
Greg, You'll note that one of the benefits of shopping your poems here is that you can get a variety of opinions and reactions, some contradictory. I can end up with a minority position, I usually prepare my comments before I read previous comments. I want to approach a poem fresh without predispo...
- Sun Mar 03, 2024 10:24 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Leaf Blowing Alternatives---Revised
- Replies: 5
- Views: 4050
Re: Leaf Blowing Alternatives---Revised
This narrative is alluring and invites engagement. Playful title, works well. L.2 – “the” – delete L.3 – first of 2 “their” in three lines. L.5 – Maybe change “their” to “a” to eliminate the repeat. It also opens the offer, I think. L.6 – “will remain” to “remains”; just a thought–more immediat...
- Sun Mar 03, 2024 10:17 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: What If (Revised)
- Replies: 4
- Views: 1080
Re: What If (Revised)
Hi Greg-- Scrap it? NOOOOOOOOOO!! This is a challenging and captivating poem. I struggle in places, and am awed in other places. The first three-four lines are magnificent. But L. 5 – if trees were chopped one by one for kindling, that wouldn’t occur in a “matter of moments”. But then lines 6 &7...
- Sun Mar 03, 2024 10:13 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: When Persimmon Light will Glow. and Meander
- Replies: 1
- Views: 2169
Re: When Persimmon Light will Glow. and Meander
I can't tell you how much I like this poem. It feels good, and the craftsmanship is so strong, which no doubt helps the poem feel so very good. I love the way it so casually glows and meanders through the senses--taste, sight, smell, and texture, and or course the motion of the poem. Artful weavin...
- Sun Mar 03, 2024 10:11 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Aunt Lucille
- Replies: 6
- Views: 1923
Re: Aunt Lucille
I love this poem, and your the content of your last posted comment here. This poem finds unsentimentalized ways to humanize everyone involved. I think this was a common way to address neuro-diversity, and I am familiar with the Faribault facility. S.3 L.2 – consider ending the line with “wrapped”, ...
- Sun Mar 03, 2024 10:07 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Naming of the parts (Ukulele version.)
- Replies: 3
- Views: 777
Re: Naming of the parts (Ukulele version.)
Gyppo-- A real heart-warming exchange, both the dialog and the non-verbal, which is several places just carries the narrative. For my money, I'd consider cutting the last line. It is a prosy conclusion which your poetry readers do not need. But then, if had your story-telling ability, I am not sur...
- Sun Mar 03, 2024 10:00 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Weather
- Replies: 7
- Views: 7155
Re: Weather
Late to the party again, I am. This is an interesting poem--engaging. It is good to be able to see the versions together. I am not seeing one version completely better than the other, each having their strong points. On the whole I prefer the first stanza from the modified version, with some comm...
- Sun Mar 03, 2024 9:55 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Dearly Beloved
- Replies: 1
- Views: 834
Re: Dearly Beloved
Wonderful title– it does so much. The Speaker opens the poem as would an officiant addressing an assemblage of family and close friends. By the time the poem concludes, the reader assured of the genuineness of the opening really. Merriam says “love-light” means a radiance of affection , which the...