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Search found 5 matches

by SaroLee
Wed Oct 31, 2018 5:26 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: ---
Replies: 0
Views: 11192

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by SaroLee
Wed Oct 17, 2018 11:59 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Pain of Love
Replies: 1
Views: 2109

Pain of Love

At the corner of your lips you smiled my love truly this is enough, please smile my love you make my pulse shiver with happiness you brought light into my nights you made me forget my male ego and surrender in front of you say the words I love you my love will be always true and will make sure you n...
by SaroLee
Tue Oct 16, 2018 9:31 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: ---
Replies: 6
Views: 4349

Re: The Love I have for you

Hi and welcome SaroLee, Have to say I don't like this. I did read it several times to give it a chance, but no, this is not for me; and I couldn't even start to recommend ways of improving it...actually I'll give you one, get rid if 'bunnies'. Sorry to be so negative with your first poem. Regards O...
by SaroLee
Tue Oct 16, 2018 8:23 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: ---
Replies: 6
Views: 4349

Re: The Love I have for you

Welcome I guess the advice and comment you will mostly receive at first is: show don't tell - use images, sensory langauge, strong verbs, fewer modifiers like adjectives and adverbs. use concrete imagery and not abstract language: in life it is fine to say to some one I love you but in poetry, it i...
by SaroLee
Tue Oct 16, 2018 7:47 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: ---
Replies: 6
Views: 4349

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