The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

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At the corner of your lips you smiled my love truly this is enough, please smile my love you make my pulse shiver with happiness you brought light into my nights you made me forget my male ego and surrender in front of you say the words I love you my love will be always true and will make sure you n...

Hi and welcome SaroLee, Have to say I don't like this. I did read it several times to give it a chance, but no, this is not for me; and I couldn't even start to recommend ways of improving it...actually I'll give you one, get rid if 'bunnies'. Sorry to be so negative with your first poem. Regards O...

Welcome I guess the advice and comment you will mostly receive at first is: show don't tell - use images, sensory langauge, strong verbs, fewer modifiers like adjectives and adverbs. use concrete imagery and not abstract language: in life it is fine to say to some one I love you but in poetry, it i...

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