I love
winter's
melon suns,
the way they
drip their
sweet perfumes
onto creme fraiche clouds,
soaking in the
ivory sponge
of winter.
just
the edges
of creme remain.
now a solid exterior for
persimmon
light
to glow
and
meander.
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Search found 32 matches
- Sat Jan 13, 2024 3:58 pm
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: When Persimmon Light will Glow. and Meander
- Replies: 1
- Views: 3205
- Thu Jan 11, 2024 11:32 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: What If (Revised)
- Replies: 4
- Views: 2494
Re: What If
LOL. :lol: :lol: I agree with what you are saying. Somehow my mind likes to create these sorts of analogies that feel really resonant until they start to feel muddled. I mean: are we talking about poetry here, or trees? I know how the two are inextricably linked, by way of the final stanza, bu...
- Thu Jan 11, 2024 8:39 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: What If (Revised)
- Replies: 4
- Views: 2494
What If (Revised)
What if all the poems of the world were trees, chopped down for kindling one by one until there were no poems left, entire ecosystems of free thought destroyed in a matter of moments; would you suck in the smoke and get high on poetic metaphor, one last time--to feel it stretch your imagination beyo...
- Wed Jan 03, 2024 4:13 pm
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Leaf Blowing Alternatives---Revised
- Replies: 5
- Views: 5360
Re: Leaf Blowing Alternatives
This new feedback really clarifies the issue at hand. I want to emphasize the light in the leaves, now i see why the luminescent butterflies don't work. Thank-you! When feedback is specific to a particular poem, or a few poems, I'm able to learn and grow. I call it the Martin Seligman effect. Ho...
- Sun Dec 31, 2023 1:37 pm
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Leaf Blowing Alternatives---Revised
- Replies: 5
- Views: 5360
Re: Leaf Blowing Alternatives
Hmmmm. I could go with a different metaphor to go with lighted leaves that sticks closer to the leafiness, but I definitely cannot leave the poem high and dry. It needs a transformative image of lighted leaves to close it off. I love your feedback and learn a lot from it. I'll play with another ...
- Wed Dec 20, 2023 6:24 pm
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Leaf Blowing Alternatives---Revised
- Replies: 5
- Views: 5360
Leaf Blowing Alternatives---Revised
If you whistle
to the autumn leaves
then watch their shadows
fly away,
just their tint and shine
will remain:
a sunlit symphony of
needled shape
and
color.
to the autumn leaves
then watch their shadows
fly away,
just their tint and shine
will remain:
a sunlit symphony of
needled shape
and
color.
- Wed Dec 20, 2023 12:14 pm
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: To be Blind, or, All-Knowing
- Replies: 4
- Views: 5577
Re: To be Blind, or, All-Knowing
I do like stretching poems in many directions. This one definitely spins through the subconscious in interesting ways. I kind of like it. But I can definitely see why others would not. I think that's why I posted it here, to invite criticism. lol. I have learned from the feedback on this site....
- Tue Dec 19, 2023 8:42 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Remembrance Day
- Replies: 4
- Views: 11273
Re: Remembrance Day
One of my favorite writes from you. Clearly the subject matter is deeply personal, which is why this poem flows with a drumbeat.
- Mon Dec 18, 2023 6:51 pm
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: To be Blind, or, All-Knowing
- Replies: 4
- Views: 5577
To be Blind, or, All-Knowing
Earth worms know soft threads of sunrise through heat of swelling soil while their tunnels tell the tale of home-spun darkness. When sun gives way to purpled clouds, each spilling rain in bundles, worms drill their way to the surface, to breathe in open air. Their pink robes dance and glisten in the...
- Mon Dec 18, 2023 6:49 pm
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Roadside Attraction
- Replies: 3
- Views: 6726
Re: Roadside Attraction
This is a cool piece!